


Yeah We Feral Keep Scrolling

by mandaree1



Category: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Cartoon)
Genre: And Kipo is a literal cat, Gen, Hoag is. Hoag is TRYING., I'm serious when I say that was the original concept I started with, Just. Wolf and Kipo being feral, Lio being Confused but Supportive, Mute-Human Friendships, No actual hunting is on-screen tho no worries, Playing tug-of-war with ur teeth, Post season 3 but pre timeskip, Song being a disaster mom, The "cured" mutes, The rule number is based on the release date of season 1!, These children are feral and I appreciate that, Various Mute Hunting Rituals, Wolf and Kipo being siblings, Wolf was raised by wolves ffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27277342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandaree1/pseuds/mandaree1
Summary: Rule 114: the way to a Mute is through their stomach.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 108





	Yeah We Feral Keep Scrolling

It had been hard for Wolf to loosen up enough to play. Sometimes, it still was. But she felt tug-of-war was a bit of an exception to the rule; she pounced on the cloth like it was a mouse, taking it in her teeth and whirling around with a growl.

Kipo- who had, in fact, been carrying the cloth- stopped and stared, wide-eyed in that way cats get when something interesting moves. " _Wolf,_ " she whined, clenching and unclenching her fingers. " _I literally can't destroy this cloth Wolf_."

"Then don't," she said, and gave a yank, and honestly that was enough for Kipo.

She snapped the fabric up in her teeth and _dropped._ Wolf, recognizing the ploy to use her weight, ducked to the side and then around, forcing the girl to keep on her toes or be ensnared. Kipo shook her head out- the vibrations made Wolf's teeth tingle- and leapt, awkwardly managing to go above her head. But Wolf wasn't going down that easily. She deftly snagged an ankle and heaved, sending them rolling over and around each other. Wolf was smaller, but easily stronger, pinning Kipo down with her knees.

"Yield?" she asked, grinning around the fabric.

Kipo smiled, and wriggled her fingers into Wolf's side. The girl dove to the ground with a squeal, elbowing the larger girl in the cheek by accident, but neither of them noticed.

The shriek of metal on metal stopped them. Molly padded up to the duo with a wry smirk and a raised eyebrow, axes in hand. "Save the roughhousin' for later, alright? This is my one good drape."

Kipo spat out her end and stood, elbows almost to her ears. "Sorry! Sorry. Got a little carried away there."

"Ain't nothing to it. Can't tell you the number of times a ball of yarn took me from a tree." The Timbercat took the sheet, now with extra slobber, and wrapped it around her arm. "Your burrow friends called a meetin'. Let's walk together, yeah?"

* * *

The dining hall was fairly empty, but it didn't lack any presence as leader of various Mute groups gathered around Yumyan's old chair. Billions' ear flicked as they walked inside. Cotton had taken a sort of nosy approach to the humans as they grew more comfortable, and had her nose directly in Hoag's (very nervous) face as her tongue flicked with curiosity. The lead Humming Bomber watched from his perch on a table. Lio and Song flanked behind the leader of the Clovers, much more at ease but equally as cautious.

Molly tossed the sheet onto the wooden throne and clapped imaginary dust from her paws. "What seems to be the issue, human?"

"N-no issue," Hoag said. Kipo and Wolf exchanged a look. They were sure Hoag had his fair share of issues living on the surface, but the effort he made was admirable. "We were just... curious. About food?"

"We got plenty of flapjacks."

"Well, yes. But, you see, there are some... concerns. About protein intake."

"Duuuude, get to the point," Cotton said. "They want meat, sis."

Molly's face relaxed from a puzzled pinch. "Oh. Is that it?"

Hoag opened his mouth, but Lio touched his arm and spoke instead. "We know that food is a serious issue on the surface. We just... wanted to make sure we weren't stepping on any toes."

"Ahem."

"Or scales."

"AHEM?"

"Or feathers."

Billions leaned in and gave the trio an experimental sniff. "Do you even know how to hunt?" Lio flinched, and the wolf tutted. "Thought so. Practically newborn pups. You'll never snag a proper meal that way."

"Aw, it shouldn't be so bad. They just gotta tag somethin' and follow it to..." Cotton broke off, squinting. "Oooh, right. No venom."

Molly knocked her axe on the throne, chipping it. "I'll lead a hunt. Unlike snakes, cats fight for their food."

"Fighting is lame. Just hit it and wait, man."

Billions' ears fell back. "But where's the joy of a good hunt in that? The exhilaration? The skill?"

Cotton stared at him. "It's food. That's plenty cool enough, if you ask me."

"It's gonna take a lot of paws to get enough for everybody," Molly hummed, stroking her cheek fur. "Whattaya say we make it interesting? Each Mute group takes some in, sees who can catch the most."

"Are you- are you making a game out of this?"

Hoag's voice was pitifully small against the interested hiss Cotton made, wrapping around Molly's feet. "What d'ya get if you win?"

She studied her a moment, then snapped her claws. "We'll take any shed scales you got. They make great guitar picks."

"Deal. And when _we_ win, the Umlaut Snäkes'll be in charge of music for the next week."

"I can handle that. Billions?"

The wolf clapped his hands together. "A moonlight seminar! We shall discuss the growing mysteries of the cosmos together as the stars twinkle overhead. It'll be lovely!"

"Nerd," coughed the Humming Bomber.

"Ahem," said Hoag, reluctantly drawing their attention back to him. "It's not- I mean... isn't making this a game a bit... barbaric?"

Cotton flicked her tail dismissively. "I mean, not with that attitude."

"Kipo..." he whined, hoping to gain her support, but Kipo was staring at the group thoughtfully. Her pupils were blown just as wide as they had been with the sheet.

Molly laughed, ruffling Kipo's hair. "She likes to track 'em down."

She seemed to notice her parents and blushed, a bit ashamed. "I don't- do the bloody bits. I just like seeing where animals go. Then I help cook."

" _I_ do the bloody bits," Wolf added smugly.

"I'm... proud of you?" Lio said, hoping to be supportive but also a bit baffled by the whole scenario.

Song did a thumbs up. "You go, honey. Both of you. Honeys. That is good words. I'm a scientist."

* * *

"You can't seriously be offended that they jumped to help us, Hoag."

He raised his hands. "I'm not offended! It's just _weird_ to see a bunch of giant sapient animals plotting how they're gonna kill smaller sapient animals, alright?"

Benson plopped a plate of flapjacks in front of the man, ignoring the green tinge Hoag's features took. "Most Mutes don't eat other Mutes," he informed them, sitting down himself. Dave awkwardly crawled onto the table to reach his own breakfast. "The Newton Wolves grab Mute-sized meals so they can focus on nerding out in the science tower, but that's about it."

"Umlaut Snäkes eat hamsters," Dave reminded him.

"That's more of a necessity, I think. Not much else to eat out there."

"I'm more surprised Kipo joined in," Lio admitted, sloshing his flapjacks through a lake of maple syrup. They were all a little sick of flapjacks by now. "I mean, I get Wolf going, but you didn't?"

Benson shrugged. "I'm more of a canned foods kinda guy."

"She's Mute too, Lio," Song said, taking a bite. "When I was the Mega Monkey, I ate all sorts of things I wouldn't normally. If making a game out of it helps her, then I say let her."

"We never had this kind of issue back at the burrow."

"We're not in a burrow, Hoag. This is the surface. Good eats don't magically appear here."

"I _suppose_ that makes sense." He ran his hand through his blond hair with a sigh. "It's easy to forget we're surrounded by predators. Maybe a _little_ too easy?"

Dave waved him off. "Relax, bro. You meat-sacks taste bad anyhow."

Benson elbowed him. "What my friend is _trying_ to say is that there's plenty of non-predator Mutes here too! The Fitness Racoons, the Ratlanders, the Humming Bombers, and the Scooter Skunks come by a lot. It's a very delicate, weird ecosystem in Timbercat town right now, and you're allowed to be a bit weirded out by it. But no one here is in any danger of getting eaten."

"I'm not afraid of getting _eaten_ ," he stressed, sensing this was a sensitive subject. "But accidents happen, right?"

* * *

Two days later, Hoag almost gets eaten.

"'M sowwy," Cotton says around the thick cupboard door her fangs are stuck in. Song had a hand around each side of her jaw as she pulled, Lio comforting a man _this_ close to having a heart attack. "Ah thought 'ou was a 'amster."

Hoag let out a pitiful whine and said no more.

"Not to be rude, Cotton, but aren't you hunting a little close to home?" Song gave one last wrench and the snake was free, stretching her jaws experimentally. "Have you been here the whole time?"

Cotton twisted her head around, pressing her skull against Song's chest. "Hey, s'not my fault. I'm a desert snake! Forest hunting is _weird_."

"Is that really it?" she asked, holding up a familiar, much smaller snake. "Or were you letting your friend out somewhere safe?"

Her maw twisted downwards. Cotton held her tail up for Camille to climb on. "We didn't get to hunt together before the attack," she said. "I couldn't- that memory couldn't keep her with me, but maybe... it would've made her happy. Camille always liked hunting." Cotton leaned in to touch the top of Camille's head. "Way she is now, I don't know if she would come back to me from the woods."

Lio's face crumpled. Shame flitted past Hoag's face; but, really, no one could blame him for freaking out over a giant snake lunging at him.

"Honey, you make some tea for Hoag, alright?" Song rubbed Cotton's scales in what she hoped was a comforting manner. "C'mon, Cotton. Let's make Camille an enclosure."

She tipped her head to the side. "Like... a trap?"

"Sort of. We'll make her a dome of things she likes. That way, she's safe from outside forces, but she can still be happy and free."

Cotton stared at the small snake a moment, indecisive. "...You promise?"

"I promise. We'll get her nice big rocks to sun on, and places she can hide away in when she wants to be alone. You won't have to be afraid of her leaving you, and she won't have to fear getting picked up by a bird."

The snake lifted herself up a little. "Can we- can we make her a sand pit? Camille loves diggin' in the sand."

"Of course, Cotton."

Cotton slowly handed Camille off to Song, who lifted a sleeve for her to dart inside for warmth. The Umlaut Snäke inched closer to Hoag with her head down. "Heeeeey, human," she said, voice soft. "Sorry I scared you like that. How's about, after we finish Camille's trap, I help you do that fire thing with the food? I don't really get it, but I know you guys like it a lot."

"Um," said Hoag, eyes practically bugging out of his head. "How can- I don't think... the- the fire thing-"

"Cooking," Lio suppled.

"Cooking," he affirmed. "Cooking. I don't think you could. Um. Help. With that. Because... um..."

Cotton eyed him up a moment, something like amusement in the coil of her tongue. "Arms are overrated, man. You'll see."

* * *

The Timbercats get home first. None of them seem interested in counting up their game, caught up in spreading tales of their exploits. Molly carried a hare in each claw as she trotted to the dining hall, stopping only to speak to two nearby Newton Wolves; they jumped, surprised at being spoken to, but didn't seem against it.

The Umlaut Snäkes forgot about the game entirely. Each slithered into the village with full bellies and sleepy eyes. Cotton beckoned the returned hunters into the hollow of a tree for a coiling nap, setting Camille's tank at the very top. Carefully, Cotton fed her a little mouse before falling asleep herself. Amy slapped a paw over Brad's face and tsked herself away to join the racoons for snacks.

Billions was last, and entirely unsuccessful. The alpha's tail dragged against the ground as he went towards the aforementioned hall, only to be blocked by the two wolves. His ears flattened with irritation.

"Sorry, boss," said the first. "No one's allowed in yet."

The wolf's lips peeled back, revealing his teeth. "Are you telling me what to do?" he asked, deathly quiet.

The guards exchanged looks. The second swallowed and spoke. "It-it's nothing personal, sir. Molly said-"

" _Molly_ -" he snarled- "is a cat. _I am your alpha_. Newton Wolves don't feast on ignorance, now, do we?"

"We don't feast on air, either," remarked the first, seeming surprised with themselves. "Billions would've-"

Billions grabbed the wolf by their coattails, yanking them so they were nose-to-nose. "Go on, then. Tell me what Billions would have done. Tell me what you think _my brother_ would have-"

"Billions!"

They both looked out over the nearest branch, where Molly stood. She had her arms crossed. "Just leave it be until tonight, alright? It's a gift."

The wolf eyed her shrewdly, but reluctantly pushed the guard away. "I better see quite the show, Yarnchopper. Or I might just be forced to make one."

"I'll hold you to it, wolf."

"Mayyybbbeee we don't go to dinner tonight?" Lio prompted, hunched over his millionth stack of flapjacks.

Benson pushed his own plate away. "Honestly? I'd rather face a Timbercat-Newton Wolves war than eat anymore of these."

"Hear, hear," said Song, taking a long drink of milk.

* * *

The dining hall could not, in fact, fit everyone. Technically, it couldn't fit all of the Mutes, let alone the Mutes plus humans. That usually made getting seats a game in and of itself, with the Humming Bombers in particular really enjoying the loophole of using the backs of people's chairs as their own perches.

Song and Lio brought a soft blanket with them, setting it down on the main walkway from the entrance, and took a seat where they could. Not long after Kipo arrived, freshly bathed and eager to munch on the rewards of her hard labor, and she sat down with enough room for another to go between her and Song. Wolf sat beside Lio.

"Heeeey, I put the right amount of room for you to hang with me," Kipo said, pouting.

Lio wrapped an arm around Wolf's shoulders and squeezed. " _Clearly_ Wolf has picked her favorite, and it's me."

Wolf's lips quirked into a smile.

"Awww, c'mon. I only threw you in one little pond."

" _After_ sticking me in a tree while I slept."

"That was because _you_ covered _me_ in caterpillars while _I_ slept."

"That's prank."

"That's not the proper tense and you know it, Wolf."

"See that?" Wolf waved a hand at Kipo. "Now she's swearing at me. You should bury her alive."

"Are you... are you talking about grounding?" Lio asked, eyebrows drawing together.

"Maybe so," she said.

Dave eagerly squished between Kipo and Song, carrying enough food for three bugs. "Oh, hey, a perfectly-sized spot! _Nice_."

"Dave! At least ask first." Benson swooped in with Troy in tow, happily holding hands. He smacked Dave's hand away from his food. "Not yet. Molly has to make an announcement."

Song shrugged and draped an arm on his head. "Free armrest. I'll allow it."

Molly slowly made her way over to the center of the dining hall. In the past days it had been covered in the white sheet Kipo and Wolf had played with, and the throne beneath it seemed a very different shape now. She clinked her axes together to gather their attention, though it was more a formality at this point.

"In days past," she said. "We would put our beloved leaders on the Great Wall of Axe Lords. Yumyan Hammerpaw was one such leader. But Yumyan Hammerpaw didn't do it alone; and, after some discussion with Kipo, we have decided on a different monument. A monument not just for Yumyan, but for all of H.M.U.F.A., and for the work they put into making a new world for us all."

Molly grabbed the sheet and pulled.

The carving abilities of Timbercats were outstanding. The throne, once simply a chair, had been renovated, glued, and restored to a wooden statue. Front and center was Yumyan Hammerpaw wielding his mighty axe, and flanking him was Carton and Wheels. Wrapping around them was Camille, her great head peeking out above Yumyan's fuzzy ears. Last was Bad Billions, smiling his signature snaggle-toothed grin, as Brad the rat settled a paw on his shoulder. It wasn't a small piece, easily as large as the cage Hugo had called home. And Hugo would undoubtedly get his own place in the hall one day- but not today. This was for victims of another battle.

Label let out a loud howling cry. "CARTON WOULDA LOVED IT!" she shrieked, collapsing into Roberto's shoulder.

"Looks just like her," Cotton said to another snake, whom nodded.

The lead Humming Bomber swatted one of his fellow birds. "Hats off! Let's get some respect in here, man." To show his own support, his plucked his glasses off, folding them to his shirt. "I just wish Boom-Boom coulda seen this."

"We thought about adding Boom-Boom, but we figured the Humming Bombers wouldn't like it," Kipo murmured to Song. "They prefer their grief to show more... _esplodey_."

Amy bent her head down to whisper in Brad's ear. "Y'see that, buddy? We did it. We made that safe zone."

"Molly Yarnchopper."

The room fell quiet as Billions stood. The wolf adjusted his jacket with a cough. "May I..." he started, stopped, then started again. "I know this is Timbercat territory, and the Newton Wolves have asked much of you cats, but... may we honor them in our own way?"

Molly nodded, lifting an axe to the seated cats. "Raise your axes for the fallen!"

The cats swung their weapons into the air, followed quickly by their voices as Billions tilted his head back and let out a mournful howl. Immediately, the other wolves began to join in- followed by Wolf, seemingly drawn in by an instinct beyond her control. Kipo roared. Benson and Dave smacked their forks and spoons on the floor. The snakes lifted their rattlers and joined in as well.

It was, to put it bluntly, **loud.**

And wild.

And it was, to the burrow people, very, very touching, even as they plugged their ears, because they knew it would matter if they were injured or maimed by Mutes. Like food, it _mattered_. And the ones surrounding them would never, ever allow it.

...Even if slobber wasn't quite given the same treatment.

**Author's Note:**

> WOW that final season, huh? Got me good. Tho I will admit I wrote this mostly bc I wanted to see how the more uptight burrow peeps (read: Hoag) would take to the not-so-sanitized world of living amongst obligate carnivores, with Lio and Song being fun sounding boards too as Lio is aware of surface life but new to his daughter having feral cravings and Song spent 13 years as a monkey and is just new to being a mom.
> 
> So, uh, yeah! Like I mentioned, I intended to put Boom-Boom in there, but I think Boom-Boom deserves a seperate monument for blowing up Amelia's lab. And the same for Hugo- especially since we know he got a memorial at the end.
> 
> -Mandaree1


End file.
